I took my final training ride for the Dirty Kanza 200 in
Muscatine, Iowa with the other Spidermonkey racing gals. We went to see the
Cauley clan, do the Iowa races, and to attend the annual Chocolate Club meeting. It was me, Mishmo, Eric,
Carin, Kelly, Monica, and Monika from xXx. I had mapped out a route, but the
weather was a little worse than I thought, there was more gravel than I
thought, and the ride was going to be a lot longer than the 25 miles I had estimated.
I have developed a habit of this. After 20 miles we were not quite halfway home
and splattered in mud, but still smiling. We rolled into a convenience store.
Mishmo said Take 5 bars were good. I’d never
had one, so I bought a couple of them. There would be a low point on this ride,
and they’d come in handy.
Heading south the sky looked a little weird. Low in the sky
it was light and high it was very dark, with a razor-sharp line (think Monica’s tan line but upside-down) between the two layers. There
was one flaw, where the dark part of the sky pointed abruptly downward into the
light part. Some very hard rain fell. Was that rain or hail? We pressed on. I
took a pull, thinking about that flaw in the sky. Get out of your head, Rice.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. This was the low point. As I rolled off my pull I
distributed the Take 5’s. Mishmo was right- they were astoundingly good. The
rest of the ride was gorgeous. Rolling hills, a little more gravel, a beautiful
path into Muscatine, and a public fountain to wash off in.
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| Like Eric Goodwin said. Best.photo. Best.Ever. of the Best.Ride. Best.Ever. |
When we got back to Karen and Steve’s they were happy to see
us. There had been a small tornado in Illinois City about 5 miles south of us.
Oh, right- this was supposed to be a race report about the Dirty Kanza 200 race. My point is that so much of
the DK IS training that the training has got to be fun. So along with my Spidermonkey cycling teammate, DK200 partner in crime, and surrogate son Kurt Breitenbucher, I chased
waterfalls, suffered the consequences of horse water
“Who would give their
horses non-potable water? Of course it’s potable.” –City kids.
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| Physio-tape works. My knee did not hurt during the race. |
II. The right bike
The advantage of having no sponsorship is that you get to ride
stuff that works, and the disadvantage is that you have to pay for it. So my DK
rig of choice is a pimped-out Surly Cross-check. Ultegra/105 11-speed group,
Paul mini-moto brakes, Hed Belgium Plus wheels with Specialized 2Bliss 38 mm
tires, Specialized Romin Evo saddle, and Time XC8 pedals. I used a Revelate
frame bag and mountain feedbag to keep the weight on the bike and off my butt. I
had no saddle issues whatsoever, and the extent of my mechanical problems on a 200-mile course where 66% of riders
dropped out was one dropped chain. An advantage(?) of not having disc
brakes was that my brakes packed up before my derailleur, preventing me from
joining about 100 riders whose rear derailleur snapped off in the mud. The
mini-motos were easy to clean, I just unhooked them and unpacked them. Many,
many times.
Ok yeah- the DK200 race report part. I’ll get to it. Look, I
read a lot of DK200 race reports before doing the race and there were only three
things I wanted to know- how to train, what to ride, and what to eat. So if that’s
you, read the next part and you’re done.
III. What (not) to
eat
I screwed up the eating part by going with “nutrition”: Clif
Mojo bars, Kind bars, and Hammer gels that were easy to unwrap with my bike
rattling on rough gravel. The problem was that after 12 hours my body refused
to eat anything sweet anymore. Chicken soup was key at the last rest stop, as
was a salt crystal. I craved hot dogs and chicken dumplings. Is it weird that I
wanted a mashed potato and gravy shot instead of a gu? If not I will invent that
because it’s what I wanted. How about it, Andy Sfekas?--
“Idiot Twin®
gravy gels. Contains meat, gluten, GMOs, and preservatives with cool names. Because if you were a ‘smart’ athlete, you wouldn’t be here.”
The only food advice I can give is to eat a lot in the
beginning, because the odds are high that you will feel crappy and not want to
eat late in the race.
IV. The race
While I am on the subject of stupid people doing stupid
things, I have to mention how amazing Kurt Breitenbucher was. He missed our
Take 5 vs. tornado training ride in Muscatine because of the flu, was still
recovering from the flu at the DK200, and he finished it anyway. 20
hours of riding in extreme conditions, skating cutoff by sprinting to checkpoints,
rest stops that ran out of water, etc- all while hacking his lungs out. Of
course I was my usual super-supportive, cheerful self and I know that helped.
Or not:
“If you give me the flu before this race I will never speak
to you again.”
He didn’t give me the flu. And I’ve seen a lot of awesome, crazy people do a lot of awesome, crazy things in grueling long races, but Kurt’s DK takes the cake. Sorry Andy.
V. No YOUR Race,
Rice.
OK fine, I guess I’ll talk about my race. Honestly I’m
still kind of blocking it out. It was the most painful athletic event I’ve ever
done in any sport. Period. Easily. And that is saying something. I wanted to
beat the sun, mostly because I’m scared of the dark. When I heard the grim
weather reports, I came up with a more achievable goal of “beating last call”-
11 PM at Radius Brewing in Emporia, KS. The beer there is incredible and $4! BEER!!!
OK yeah. Back to that painful race that I blocked out of my head.
The start was chill, not the crazy testosterone-laden
“neutral rollout” that was rumored. I hung with Danielle Musto long enough to
say hi, feeling good. Then 10 miles out every single racer’s expectations
shattered.
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| Photo credit: Emporia Gazette |
Any goal except finishing was out the window as miles 11-16 of
the course were not rideable due to extremely thick mud. I rode 20 feet through
it till my brakes packed up, my first rookie mistake. Then I walked and tried
rolling the bike for another 20 feet and it packed up again. So I tightened my
shoes and shouldered my 30-lb bike. Through the cold spitting rain and the mud
on my glasses I could see hundreds of cyclists- even the fatbikers- shouldering
and slogging through ankle-deep mud in a line that stretched to infinity over
the Kansas hills. I thought about taking a picture, but it was too depressing.
Josh Johnson did:
We trudged on like that for over an hour. I had to keep
going- I’d never hear the end of it if I told Andy that I dropped out of an
ultra-endurance race because I had to walk 5 miles. So I carried the bike on my
head and my back and my shoulder, alternating as much as I could. I ate all my
food, which was covered in mud. The racers sang songs to try to cheer ourselves
up, but none of us could remember the words. At last we hit real
gravel again. My food and water bottles were covered in mud, I couldn’t see my
cue sheets through the mud, my bike and feet were heavy and soaking wet, and my
back hurt pretty bad, but I was rolling.
I arrived at the first checkpoint in Madison and ate a
sandwich. Eric was amazing for cleaning my bike and doing checkpoint service-
including laundry between stops. He was genuinely happy that I wanted to
continue. Many riders were dropping out. The family next to us was in tears
because they had driven all the way from Tennessee to see daddy race and daddy just
couldn’t keep going. Eric said I had eaten well and had drunk enough fluid, so
I rode on leaving him in Heartbreak City, feeling lucky to be holding up.
Back spasms set in on the second leg. We turned north to
Cottonwood Falls, with a significant headwind. I was lucky to meet Paul, who
had a pink shark fin on his head, as well as Lee Merrill of Lawrence, KS. We
organized a group of riders and that made the headwind section a little easier,
but my back pain was growing worse. I didn’t want to eat anything. I should
have had at least 3 more bars before getting to the checkpoint, but could not
get them down.
The checkpoint at Cottonwood Falls was a little less
depressing than Madison, because instead of talking about who was out we were talking
about who was still in. This person? No- broken derailleur. That person? No-
sidewall gash. How about… No- broken derailleur. Then a guy in the crowd
shouted “Hey Sarah! I started with you but had to drop out because my
derailleur broke and destroyed my rear wheel! You’re doing great! Kill it girl!
KILL IT!” I was delirious from pain and didn’t remember him at all, but was
happy for the cheer. I got to Eric. He gave me some hot soup and cleaned off my
bike again. Kurt was still in it!!!! I was overjoyed. I knew I was about the 10th
woman going in to the checkpoint, but I was slow getting out and lost spots. I
had to let go of that, because my back was bad enough to threaten my finish. I ended up 14th among women, 4th women 40+.
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| At the finish, sporting my favorite lipstick. Photo credit: TBLPhotography.com |
The final leg was excruciating but I was afraid to take
ibuprofen because it might drop my blood pressure and make me faint. It grew
very dark, I was riding slowly, and along came Nick Perrow, the same fantastic
guy who saved my bacon at the first gravel grinder I did this year, the Big
River Epic. At Big River Nick found me out of water with about 20 miles to go,
and at the DK200 Nick found me with back spasms with about 20 miles to go. I
rode with him while he navigated and encouraged me nonstop all the way to the
finish line. I don’t know if he’ll read this (hell I don’t know if anyone will
read this) but all I can say to thank Nick is this: someday I want to do what
he did. Twice. I want to get good enough at this that I can be the rescuer who
pulls a newbie’s race out of the fire.
I looked at my watch as we cruised down Commercial Ave. in
Emporia to the finish. 10:56 PM. We beat last call!!! I was too delirious when
I got off the bike to find Radius so I missed my $4 beer prize. I found Lucas
Seibel, Sophia Robinson, Peter Chrapkowski and Tom Flynn at the finish. Lucas,
Peter, and Tom had crushed the race hours ago and seemed fully recovered. Lucas
and Sophia washed off my bike while I ate a hot dog. A pro rider cleaned my
bike, yeah that’s right.
Eric came a few minutes later with the news that Kurt had made
the second checkpoint and was riding strong on the final leg. We walked home,
took a shower and a short nap, then went out to see Kurt finish. He sped up so
much that we missed him by a couple minutes. We felt bad about that, but having
been there I knew he was too delirious to care.
Sunday morning all I wanted was quiet. The race had left me
emotionally run down. I went to the awards ceremony at the Civic Auditorium but
the noise in there was more than I could take and I really needed a cup of coffee BAD... so I left and missed the podium
pic. Sophia picked my trophy up for me, and it is
cool:
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| Awesome prize. |
VI. Parting advice
I didn’t say that my 2015 Dirty Kanza race was fun. Anyone
who does endurance races knows that some days are not fun. That’s why it’s so
important to have fun training. When things got tough I thought back to my
crazy training moments and absorbed the stunning beauty of the Kansas Flint
hills. I never once thought of quitting.
There are competer races that turn into completer races, and
the 2015 DK200 was certainly one of those for me. The heroes on those days are the
survivors like Kurt Breitenbucher and the rescuers like Nick Perrow. I’m
thankful to both of them for inspiring performances.
I’m serious about the gravy gels.
